Kinda dark in here, isn't it?
1/11/04 09:09 pm
I'm such a horrible procrastinator. I have about 10 different things that I could be doing but instead I'm sitting here on the computer. I would be in so much better shape if I actually did things right away instead of putting them off. I'm not sure why I even put them off. Most of the things I should be doing aren't very difficult. Part of the problem is that I tend to think that I'll do them while doing something else, and I never actually get to the second step.
Well I haven't really been a total slacker today. I did actually clean my apartment today. Especially the bathroom, that really needed a good straightening. Not even cleaning so much as just actually putting all the little tubes and bottles back in their place. I've come to the conclusion that I have way too many personal grooming products. How did this happen? I try to avoid usual girl stereotypes, and I'm not very into make-up, yet I still have a zillion things that I could very well live without. That goes for my entire life, not just my medicine chest. I need to work on cutting down on the amount of things that I have. Forget the fact that it would make things easier when I move (I'm averaging actually packing my stuff up and taking it somewhere else 3 times a year right now, over the last 6 years, most of it school related.) A human being can't possibly really NEED all this stuff. So I should test myself and see what I can do without. It's a good idea, if I can live up to it is another question.
1/5/04 03:32 am
It's 2am and I'm drunk again; It's heavy on my mind -- "Grace is Gone," Dave Matthews Band
Well actually it's 3:30am and I'm sober but it is heavy on my mind. I've just spend far to long talking with a friend who happens to be an ex about our respective current relationships. and it's really quite depressing. I desperately need some sleep and to think clearly, but I don't know if that will happen anytime soon. The key about talking with my ex is that he once knew me better than anyone else in the world, and despite a rather awful break-up time has let us be friends again so he's very good to talk to about things. The talking helps me feel a little better even if it doesn't actually solve anything. so now I"ll try to sleep while my belly is too empty and my head is too full (that's some sort of mangled reference to a children's story I think but I don't know which exactly)
I thought it was time to try the lj thing again. Here's a little history:
A while ago, x number of years to be imprecise, I created an lj account. (which one... well I'm not telling) I was going through a really rough time emotionally and I needed an outlet just to ramble to about things that I didn't want to burden my friends with. However, partially because I needed the access code and partially because I wasn't thinking about it, I told others about my journal. Suddenly the people that I hadn't wanted to tell my problems to were reading about them online. And I found myself censoring what I would say. It went on like that for a while until I needed to take a break from lj.
And now I'm back. But this time I'm not going to tell my friends about this journal. If they find me and recognize me, good for them. This is also why I'm not throwing in any friends links, at least not right at the start. I like to look around lj and find interesting people, or if anyone out there should ever think I am interesting, I'd be happy to add them to my friends list. For the moment, however, I think a little freedom from the people that I already know in real life will be beneficial.
Now I shall head off in search of a fitting picture for this journal...